“Here’s that photo I took of you on the train when we met…”
How do you usually spend time when you commute on public transport such as trains or buses or trams? Checking Facebook? Using Twitter? Texting or ringing your significant other, friends, family? Listening to music? Reading books? Or… picking up girls?
Recently, a collection of netizen tweets has surfaced on the Twitter compilation site Naver Matome, which shows that more and more Japanese commuters are using their daily commute as a way to pick up women. And sometimes men. These unique techniques are apparently used every single day on Japanese trains, revealing a side to Japan that we don’t often think about when we see headlines about falling birthrates and demographic crises.
The entire collection of the best, the worst, and the weirdest in-transit chat-up lines is translated below.
Which one would you fall for? Which one would you use?
From Naver Matome:
The Peculiar Evolution of Chat-up Lines Recently Heard on Trains
Tweets About Flirtations On Trains Lately
[Nanpa]
TAN@t2nt:
The ‘Voice’ of one of my Mixi friends (late 20s, female staff worker):‘Type some cheesy lines on a mobile screen and force a girl to take a look at it – that’s apparently how you pick up chicks lately, fresh in
some ways. ’… Seriously?
うさみゆきa&+°@MCusms:
Got hit on while waiting for a train, disgusting. So I lied about my name, ‘I’m Tanaka.’ He was persistent and still kept asking ‘what’s your first name?’ Obviously it wasn’t well-considered at all and ‘Makiko’ just came out of mouth… Tanaka Makiko… Am still here on the platform, giggling – can’t help it oops! Please help the Makikos of this world.
たま＠とろろそば厨@tamasakirino:
Whoa, recent pick-ups are brilliant.
‘Where you off to?’
‘To Animate.’
‘Can I come with you?’
‘Sorry I’m just about to hop into the train.’
‘What you listening to?’
‘Some Anime song. Well, can you please just go away?’
‘Gimme your name at least then.’
‘Cure Sunny.’
‘What?’
‘Cure Sunny.’
‘Same as my sister’s! What a coincidence!’
‘[silence]’
しにょ：Ｑ@signo_:
In a pretty crowded train, a guy drew a portrait of a girl, showed her it and ‘I’d like to ask you out.’ What a crappy pick-up!
makiko@traintrain630:
Was on a train, a fat stranger started flirting with me and tried to shake my hands. Only ended up with his kiss on that hand… I may have met quite a few nuts but he’s still at the top on the list. Class.
SHUN@俄然@kurororo9666:
I’m literally witnessing with my actual own eyes a guy hitting on a girl here, on the train! He wisely takes advantage of this situation on the packed train and starts from ‘Need a handrail?’ then proceeds with the chat wittily. She doesn’t find it altogether bad. Impressive. This helped me learn a lot, for sure.
RYO_MASUDA@idgodard:
Saw a pick-up on the train:
‘Tell me your name.’
‘Guess.’
‘A or MA in it?’
‘Nope.’
‘Ah well fuck it.’
‘I in it though.’
‘In which alphabet?’
‘2nd out of 2.’
‘Ai? Kai?…Sai!’
‘Oh come off it. Kai (= shells)? Sai (= rhinos)? Get a grip.’
‘Yui!’
‘Correct!’
It makes perfect sense and explains exactly all the reasons why
they’re meant to be together.
ダークネスにこる”*。@Nicol_club
A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN had been trying to pick me up since we happened to be in the same lift at the station until I got off the train. ‘Aw you’re cute. Wanna meet my son? You’re far better than his girlfriend at the moment! Can I have your number?’ Wrong… in many ways (‾◡◝).
そーてんはツイ減っちゅー話や@so_10anchor0716:
Omg, shit, way too creepy wwww I was only sitting on a train and a guy standing right in front of me started speaking to me ‘Hey you free after? Where you getting off?’ I completely ignored him but he also got off and followed me wwww. It was bloody scary so I just got into the shop to hide away from him… High level pick-up… Terrible.
[Foreigners]
SAWA (Nadia)@sawa333:
I guess an Indian guy tried to flirt with me on a commuter train. Didn’t understand even half of what he said in Indian… He patted me
on the head and said ‘Please come eat curry at my restaurant’ in Japanese when I left the train… Erm which restaurant exactly? Damn! He could speak Japanese all along!
hakka@p_hakka:
Just got picked up by ‘Mr.Black Guy’ www. ‘It’s universal: all guys are pervs!’ in the most PERFECT Japanese . Words of wisdom.
うちまき@hudou61:
Got picked up by a Pakistani guy. ‘Me no girlfriend, you no boyfriend. No problem. Phone number please.’ Again and again. And, last of all,‘Your company now, money okay?’ Is this all about money after all then!?
inobutanto@inobutanto:
I might have got picked up by an Indian guy?! Barrage of questions on about me like ‘are you married?’.
[Fantasy]
あやか@a_yak_ka:
On such a crowded train, I found the guy behind me pushing his body towards me quite a lot then realised my body got actually lighter than ever after getting off at the station. Was he… possibly… a masseur… What if this encounter had lead a secret crush… I ended up with arriving in Shinjuku while dreaming about this love story.
フロッテ＊アロマ@akariamemiya:
Hopefully this new method does the trick. RT @ken10432: I just came up with the new pick-up idea – saying ‘oh that top right is 6 isn’t it?’ or something alright if there are any OLs doing sudoku on trains.
[Success]
ムロパン@muroseate
I’m just impressed and pleased to see how smoothly a fit guy (just like Adachi from Kanaria with a bit of the Gentle from Milkcrown’s flavour) had picked up a girl on a train. His kick ass chat skills…Just what we’d expect for self confident guys. He only started talking to her in Asagaya but already hold her hands and got off the train together at Kokubunji. Well there’s no knowing if the girl (chubbier version of Sato Yui) was actually safe or not…
[??]
maki@ai14912768:
The packed train suddenly came to a stop and a uni girl just fell over me so I automatically caught her in my arms and asked her ‘you
alright?’. She responded to me ‘… I’m okay! Well, what’s your name? Would you like to go out for dinner if you don’t mind?’ Was it a pick-up? I was wearing a skirt, too!
おおわひろき@hiroki0518:
I, male myself was hit on by a guy on a crowded train whence there was no escape.
[Great Ideas]
zema@outerdot
Commuter trains should be split up by not only gender but also age and taste, so just ordinary trains would be new meeting places – commuter romancecars more like. Commute and meet people at the same time, just like killing two birds with one stone eh?
